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Avoidant Attachment: Self-esteem killer for your partner

Sara Lynne George
4 min readDec 7, 2024

How avoiding your partner may kill the confidence you once loved.

The Hidden Impact: How Avoidant Attachment Style Affects Your Partner’s Self-Esteem

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In the complex dance of intimate relationships, our attachment styles profoundly influence not only how we connect with others but also how our partners feel about themselves. Avoidant attachment, characterized by emotional distance and difficulty with intimacy, can have particularly significant effects on a partner’s self-esteem and emotional wellbeing.

Understanding Avoidant Attachment Style

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Individuals with avoidant attachment style typically developed this pattern in early childhood, learning to be extremely self-reliant and uncomfortable with emotional closeness. They tend to:
- Maintain emotional distance
- Struggle with expressing feelings
- Value independence above connection
- Withdraw during moments of conflict
- Have difficulty trusting and depending on others

The Impact on your Partners Self-Esteem

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When someone with an avoidant attachment style enters a relationship, their behaviors can inadvertently create deep wounds in their partner’s self-worth. Here’s how this manifests:

Emotional Withdrawal is painful for everyone

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When avoidant partners consistently pull away during moments of emotional intimacy, their partners often internalize this as personal rejection. Over time, they may begin to question their worthiness of love and connection. The message received isn’t “My partner struggles with closeness” but rather “I’m not worth staying close to.”

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Sara Lynne George
Sara Lynne George

Written by Sara Lynne George

Author: “Ive Never Been to France”, “Don’t you dare text him back” and “The bi-polar poet: I MA OHW. Trauma Survivor, and advocate.

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